THE LAWYER AND THE HAMPSHIRE SENIOR CRICKETER

                                              Sent in by Nick Blakstad

A lawyer and a Hampshire Senior Cricketer (who shall remain nameless!!!) are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Hampshire Senior Cricketers are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the Hampshire Senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only £5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you £500.00," he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five pound note, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him £500.00. The senior pockets the £500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Hampshire Senior Cricketer up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer £5.00, and goes back to sleep.

CLASSIFIED ADS WHICH WERE ACTUALLY PLACED IN A U.K. NEWSPAPER:

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FOR SALE BY OWNER - Complete set of Encyclopaedia Brittanica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Russell Kyte's selected cricket sayings........

My wife had an uncle who could never walk down the nave of an abbey without wondering whether it would take spin - SIR ALEC DOUGLAS-HOME

Cricket is the only game that you can actually put on weight when playing - TOMMY DOCHERTY

I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers - KATHARINE WHITEHORN

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May. - DENIS NORDEN

The batsman's technique was like an old lady poking her umbrella at a wasps' nest - JOHN ARLOTT

The umpire is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order - NEVILLE CARDUS

Drink is a serious problem, particularly on cricket tours, for it can be said, without fear of contradiction, that nothing yet devised by man is worse for a sick hangover than a day's cricket in the summer sun - MICHAEL PARKINSON

Dick has started to send in some jokes so we have set up this new section for Jokes, funny stories from cricket matches, cartoons etc., etc..................................